On Saturday I went to my first ever comic convention. In Dunfermline of all places. It was busy, crowded, hot and very, very noisy but so much fun.
The kids and I spent way too much money but we got some amazing stuff, including a couple of rare graphic novels and comics. We got photos with the tenth Doctor, and got to have our pictures taken in Luke Skywalker's landspeeder.
I'm really glad we did it this year though. If this had been a year or two ago it might not have gone as well as it did. At least one of us would have had a meltdown (probably me if I'm honest) at least once. Now we were all aware of our needs, triggers and signs. We took loads of breaks and time out whenever we needed, and as a result had a really good day.
I still struggle with my diagnosis from time to time. I lived without it for the best part of 39 years, I learned how to cope with asc without even knowing I had it (not always in the most healthy of ways but hey, at least I appeared to be doing ok). I still feel like a fake a lot of the time, but I felt like a fake a lot of the time even before my diagnosis so nothing new there really I just have a different way of beating myself up about it. The real difference is that now I am a lot better at giving myself permission to be kind to myself and I'm better at recognising stressors and triggers and my own signs. The difference is that I can help my kids develop healthier coping mechanisms and not have to give themselves permission to be kind to themselves, they just will be because they deserve nothing less.